Oh, Mom


I’ve been alive for 28 years.

A lot changes in 28 years.

In this time I’ve gone from bossy Kindergartener to cynical adult (or at least adult-like).

I’ve grown out of pigtails and into a topknot.

Play dates to brunch dates. Orange juice to coffee. I’ve started liking tomatos and continued hating olives and slowly (but surely) learned to appreciate the joy of staying in on a Friday night.

I went from thinking Mom was the greatest person on earth to the most embarrassing person on earth to the greatest person on earth once again.

A lot changes in 28 years.

Year after year, phone call after phone call, through the awkward teen years and beyond, here’s a look at Mom through the years.

Age 0: Mom gives you life (BIG ups for that one, Ma)

Age 1: Does literally everything in order for you to survive and ultimately grow up into the badass person you were bound to be.

Age 5: Slips a note into your lunchbox. “Love you,” it says, accompanied by a purple sticker. You smile.

Age 8: Slips a note into your lunchbox. “Love you” it says, accompanied by a red sticker. “Is that from your Mom?” Tommy asks, leaning over and laughing. You frown.  How embarrassing.

Age 9: Chases down the school bus to bring you your stuffed animal that you had forgotten at home. It was stuffed animal day at school and she didn’t want you to be without one. “Leah forgot her toy,” the cool guy will say from the back of the bus as he watches your Mom run aboard, shaking your stuffed Dalmatian above her head. This will be one of the most mortifying situations of your life thus far. However, when you look back on it you’ll forget just how embarrassing it was and remember one thing only: Mom’s always got your back.

Age 10: Came to your baseball games (even though the last thing on earth she probably wanted to do was be at a baseball game, and even though she wore a super embarrassing hat)

Age 14: “Don’t let them see you,” you say as Mom drops you off 2 blocks from the movie theatre where your friends are waiting. “Have fun honey!” she calls out the door.

Age 16: You look down at the caller ID on your brand new cell phone. “It’s just my Mom,” you say to your friends, ignoring the call.

Age 17: “Here, try this on” she says, handing you a sweater as you walk towards the change room. You shake your head. “No way,” you say. “This looks like something you would wear.”

Age 18: “Won’t you come in with me?” you ask as your family parks the car on the University parking lot. While you once begged her to drop you off miles away, you now wish she was stickin’ around for just a few miles more.

Age 19: Asks you to show her how to use “The Google”

Age 22: Signs her text “love, Mom”. For the last time we KNOW IT’S YOU (but also like, love you too)

Age 24: Asks you why someone wants to “follow” her Pinterest board. Is it safe?

Age 26: “That looks like something Mom would wear,” you say, happily plucking a sweater off the rack and heading to the change room to try it on.

Age 27: You look down at the caller ID on your smartphone. “It’s Mom!” you say, pausing life to take the call.

Age 28: When life suddenly got so weird and so confusing; when everyone’s getting married and climbing the ladder and figuring their life out and you have no idea where you fit; when you feel vulnerable and insecure and all you want is someone to listen to your irrational thoughts and make you feel better about life in general; when all you need is someone to convince you that you really are as beautiful as you once thought you were. When all you need is Mom.

Happy Mothers Day, peeps 🙂

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